Sleeping Beauty

The pooping was a false alarm, people. Ninja has her held safely tucked in the top of my pelvis and continues to beat the crap out of my insides like she's getting paid to do it. Must be because the government didn't shut down. Thanks a lot, Obama.

41 weeks today. Went in for a non-stress test and it was like she knew she had to put on a good show to impress everyone. I woke up at 7:30 to give myself plenty of time for breakfast and a shower. I can only hope that Ninja's fetus sleeping habits follow her out of the womb, because she is hilariously like her mama right now. If I wake up before 9, she's just a sleepy lump off to one side of my belly. Doesn't move, doesn't kick, except to try halfheartedly to get away from you when you poke her. Shower doesn't wake her, food doesn't wake her, even the car ride to the doctor...nothing. She likes to stay up late and sleep in like a pro. Well, they got the fetal monitor on just in time for her to start her very busy day of kicking me relentlessly, so that was good. She passed, she's allowed to stay in for one more week if she wants.

Yaaaaaaaaay.

I'll take two million, thanks so much.

via My Baking Addiction

A Sign

Uncontrollable, smelly farts.

That means my baby's almost here, right? RIGHT?

But seriously, it's pretty stinky. I feel that should carry some significance.


Signs that my labor is imminent (I'm basically a doctor):

1) So much pooping!
2) Angry fetus bellybutton maulings.
3) False labor every night. YAY!
4) I have not packed a hospital bag.
5) I have not installed any carseats.
6) The dishes are dirty.
7) The government is shutting down.

 This is totally me right now: